i'm leaving alright

it all seems like yesterday...
the warmth of your laughs...
the smile on your eyes...

i miss them...i miss them a lot...
maybe it was my fault for ignoring them when they we're there. I thought you understood the fact that i "pretend" to be the strong one.Well...you've always said that i was tough, right?
i guess, now I've got no other choice.

i wonder...if it had ever crossed your mind that one day, maybe that one day...
we could meet...for real...
perhaps...a dream should stay as it is...temporary...
just like our feelings...brief and abruptly woken up by reality...
both of us weren't prepared for it..
at least i think I'm not ready to let go yet...
i don't know about you...
should have not let myself off wandering around your mind for too long...
currently, the fact that i WAS used to it...
i forgot how to go out...
maybe i did exited by accident...
like a schizophrenic that can't differ reality and imagination...
i don't really know your loving self and your normal self now..
i thought it was the same...
better put that on my check list so that i'll figure that later...
sure don't want to end up having awkward hugs and weird glances...
and one more thing...i got to stop staring at you all the time...
"i know i'm better than this, sheesh" self monologued...
god it's hard...
i can get through your thoughts now like i use to...
why??? ohh...'cause i can't look into your eyes any more...
as they say...the eyes is the mirror of your soul...
i'm too scared to peer into your soul as i know it wouldn't be mine...
and that hurts...deeply torturous...
we don't want that, do we?
how amazing you are to make people love you without you doing anything...
i guess for now denial is the best answer for me...
it's okay...
i guess my feelings can wait..
our love may be on the line...
i got to move on...
leaving you behind is a journey itself that i am pacing slowly on the pavement of life...
my steps aren't that big...nor they are fast...
but at least i am telling myself that i'm making progress and that's important...
because i'm me and i've got no right over your life and heart...
but i have to be responsible of mine...
i won't forget you...cause memories are priceless...
however, my happiness is even more priceless...

hope your happy nonetheless:)